February 2012
I taught my cat how to high five me for treats..
Well, I say high-five - she taps my palm everytime I show her food.
I spent about half an hour teaching her and giving her treats because I was bored.
Went upstairs 20 mins later to find that the little shit had thrown up all over my mattress/bedsheets/favourite hoodie.
She just sat there and watched me clear it up whilst I nearly cried because it’s so gross.
CATS. KNOW. HOW. TO. GET....
when girls call their boobs
‘the twins’
jumping on the bandwagon
and naming mine jedward.
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When creationists say “You can’t disprove the existence of God.”
I’m an atheist - I’m not trying to disprove anything. I’m just saying I simply don’t believe in it.
Also, having applied the logic of “you can’t disprove something if you don’t have the evidence to back it up” to lets say something like the disappearance of Madeleine...
i beg of you someone explain the
airport
posts thing
please
I hate the fact that the more time you spend with someone, the more you miss them when they leave. Fjdhfdjsdfhd I’m so soppy today it’s incredible but I just want to re-live this entire weekend, please.
A Gordon Ramsay poem
gordonramsaypoetry:
Touch the meat Touch the meat. It’s raw. Raw.
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holy fucking SHIT
WHY DON’T MY OVARIES FUCKING FUNCTION PROPERLY
YOU CAN’T JUST
DO THAT
IT’S BEEN 8 DAYS
EIGHT.
DAYS.
CAN YOU JUST FUCK OFF
GOD FUCKING DAMN MY UTERUS ALL UP IN THIS BITCH LIKE IT RUNS THE DAMN PLACE
Mother, why must you assume things
Me: Can I stay at Luke's this weekend?
Mum: The whole weekend?
Me: Please?
Mum: Fine, fine.. Just be back by 12 on Sunday and make sure you call me during the weekend.
Me: Thanky-
Mum: AND DON'T GET YOURSELF PREGNANT
Me:
Mum:
Me:
Mum:
Me:
Mum:
Me: I'll see you on Sunday.
you got punched out by some fat woman who broke...
vondergeist:
odea replied to your post: Dov was in my dream last night…
oh god WHAT DID I DO
…
Sounds like an average day to me.
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i’ve been awake for 2hrs and all i can think about is chicken
this, too
vondergeist replied to your post: Things I know about Oli Sykes
he has a major boner for that guy from YMAS
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Things I know about Oli Sykes
He has the personality of a brick
He pissed on someone many a moon ago
Much like Samson, he’s nothing without his hair
france: ten
france: twenty
france: thirty
france: forty
france: fifty
france: sixty
france:
france:
france: sixty ten
world: france what are you do—
france: four twenties
world: france stop it
france: four twenties ten
world: france that doesn't even make any sense
france:
france:
france:
world:
france:
world:
france: hundred.
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to think that this time last year i was laying on my kitchen floor, screaming Adele lyrics at my cat with a spoon in one hand and a jar of nutella in the other
farisbueller:
felicefawn:
The fact that the majority of teenagers would rather listen to Justin Bieber or Taylor Momsen over Jimi Hendrix or Pink Floyd makes me want to fucking kill myself. Literally.
up next on MTV’s “White Girl Problems”: special snowflake and part-time tumblr user felicefawn is literally contemplating suicide over people having different music taste than her and thinks...
when you're trolling on Blendr and accidentally...
time to delete app
and move house
R.I.P. to all the virginities that will be lost on...
Or congratulations to all those who will become proud mothers and fathers sometime in November.
